Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood...

“How dumb art thou, Hollywood?”

In the era of celebrity, obsessed fans, novices, casual observers and critics witnessed many a stars stupid moments. The moments of “Duh!” “What was he thinking?” “What was she thinking?” “Did they really do that?” were all over the boob tube. Stars acted no better than nine to five, working stiffs. A $10 million, feature film contract never an actor a bigger supply of gray matter. Some of them wasted what brains they had on empty bottles of Ciroc and Christal, anyway.

Here were the moments given to us by celebrities? They made feel a smarter about ourselves.

1. Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag announced their engagement. I have wagers their kids will need witness protection before entering kindergarten. Not for being famous, but for admitting who their mom and dad are!

2. Amy Winehouse head-butted a male fan during her concert. Was that how she got that gap in her teeth? Just imagine the head lice she spread too! EWWWWW!

3. Mandy Jiroux flashed a gang sign on the Miley and Mandy Christmas promo on MySpace today!! No lie! You have to see this s*!! On her left hand, she had a Folks (Gangster Disciples) hand sign! Three fingers out and a circle with one finger and thumb

That deserved the P.O.D. (poser of the day) award!!!

4. The Jonas Brothers never told their fans to chill with the death threats. We have militant virgins now as well? Better watch out for drive-bys with people throwing purity rings!

5. Amy Winehouse’s ex threatened to tell-all to tabloids about their relationship for $1 million pounds ($1.6 million U.S.). Why would anyone admit to sleeping with Amy Winehouse, willingly?

6. Paris Hilton still thought of herself as an actress. Amateur, sex videos don’t count, dear.

7. Paris Hilton still thought of herself as a singer. Hilton’s debut album sold pretty well in 99 cent bins at Flying J’s Truck Stop.

8. MTV created a show to choose Paris Hilton’s new BFF. (No explanation needed.)

9. However created the term BFF. Celebrities are obsessed with stupid, catch phrases like, BFF, OMG, LOL...

10. Celebrities spent their monies on carrying their dogs in purses!! Dogs have four legs and four feet. They are meant to be walked. The only damn bag to have with you is to scoop their poo!

11. Angelina Jolie admitted she seduced Brad Pitt on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Could’ve fooled me. I was unaware of the attraction while they were ( ) on camera. I only heard the director yell “Cut!” upteen times.

12. Jennifer Aniston asked singer, John Mayer to marry him.

13. Jennifer Aniston pursued John Mayer.

14. Jennifer Aniston got peeved when a reporter asked about her relationship while promoting her dog movie “Marley and Me”.

15. We’ve just come to realize that Jennifer Aniston (isn’t a smart woman).

16. Heidi Montag did vocals in her music video. I thought she was killing cats.

17. Spencer Pratt called himself, a manager and a hustler. (Eyeroll in progress)

18. Miley Cyrus got her first Porsche after loaning it to her mom. She paid for her hand-me-down, folks! Wasn’t that cool?

19. Kanye West still wore those window shades he called “glasses”.

20. Britney Spears and K-Fed appeared normal compared to these people!

I only wrote 20, but I need to get on with my life.